Top 10 Items For The Back-To-School Geek
By Jeffrey | August 29, 2007
*sigh* Autumn, that time of year where we head back to another year writing papers, sleeping on overpriced textbooks, and finding new ways to hack the school network.
There is little doubt that we go in as prepared as we possibly can: we’ve got the old TI-86 with more games than math on it, the brand new cell phone with the outrageously obnoxious Crazy Frog ringtone, and the new laptop that we convinced the parents was strictly for schoolwork…eventually.
But I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 items for the back-to-school geek that you might have missed.
Let’s begin.
#10 - Geek Love Poem Shirt
If you’re headed back to school then you’re most likely wanting to present a good image for the people on campus who really matter: the women.
Because of that you’ll need style, fashion, and dashing good looks, while at the same time not abandoning your unique nerd origins.
This shirt is the perfect fit - no pun intended. It tells the ladies you’re their almost-a-man, while at the same time letting them know you can code them a website to shout your love to the world. What’s more attractive than that?
#9 - Got Root? Hat
Now that you have the shirt, you need a hat to complete the ensemble - by the way, never say ensemble in public - but you don’t want just any sky piece.
This hat pulls the dual duty of being an inside joke for Linux nerds, but also present the image to the normal world that you’re into herbs. Of course, that’s herbs with a wink, right?
#8 - Rubik’s Cube
Hungary, 1974. Erno Rubik invents a cube based on his love for geometry and things in the third-dimension - you know, like life. 33 years later and nerds and geeks are still held in a trance by the mere sight of it.
Well, maybe not. Let’s be honest, the majority of us never even solved one of these, or maybe solved it once, then lost it under our Transformers collection.
Still, no geek dorm room would be complete without one. Preferably, it should be in its own place of honor to shout to those entering your domain - probably looking for herbs - that you can crash their Windows machine with your mind!
#7 - The Spork
College is a busy place: there’s parties to go to, LAN parties to compete in, athletic teams to cheer for, and every now and again, classes to attend.
You don’t have time to eat with both a fork and a spoon. You’re in a rush, man! (Note: The use of “man” in no way is meant to offend those who may not, in fact, be a “man”.)
In steps the dorm roomie’s best friend: the spork. No longer will you be forced to switch utensils for different edibles, no longer must you live a slave!
All right, that’s a little extreme, just eat your food already.
#6 - The Binary Watch
Picture this scenario: you’ve missed your alarm, you’re late for class, what time is it?!? You look at your watch and then…!
One minute, I know binary, let me figure this out. You carry the five, multiply by the square root…ah, screw it, let’s just go!
Ok, so this watch won’t win any practicality awards, but still, it’s cool, right? That’s good enough.
#5 - Bluetooth Headset
No, not those annoying headsets you see all the pretentious n00bs walking around with. You can do better than that!
And this most definitely does.
It’s not exactly fit for carrying around, but you’ll have to admit that it would be worth it just to see people’s reactions every time you answer your phone.
Although, there is a chance it will make people stop calling you.
#4 - Micro-Hard Drive
Flash drives, once a novelty item, are all the rage now. Anybody who’s everybody - yes, you read that right - has a stick on them carrying their most important information…like…uh…you know, stuff.
But again, wimpy flash drives are for technological sissies.
Introducing the micro-hard drive, available in sizes up to 12gb - which means 300gb as technology jumps ahead right after you buy one.
Carry homework, music, your movie collection, heck, install a couple Linux distros on it. Just don’t settle for anything less than over-the-top.
#3 - WiFi Signal Locater
Most likely, your campus has WiFi availability. If it doesn’t, what in the world are you, as a geek, doing there?
Nevermind, the point is that sometimes you just don’t want to whip out your laptop to see if you can find a signal.
So pick up one of these instead, attach it to your key chain, and quicker than you can say, “I am totally lost on this campus” you’ll know if you can hop on Facebook to see if anybody commented on you in the last 5 minutes.
#2 - The iPod Backpack
No college experience is complete without a backpack. Unless you’re taking online classes, in which case why are you even on campus?
Regardless, you’re too unique to descend to the depths of owning an iPod, right? Those are for sheep, right? Whatever, you know you have one, even if you wear black headphones to disguise it - or, if you’re in New York, to avoid getting mugged.
To kill two birds with one stone (Note: SavvyGeek in no way condones the killing of any number of birds.), pick up this iPod Backpack and you’ll be the coolest guy on campus. At least, you’ll be the coolest guy on campus wearing one of these backpacks.
It has controls on the bag itself so you can hide that little piracy-device away, plus it has the “mono strap” that is just so chic these days.
#1 - Caffeine
It doesn’t matter what your major is, what your social life is like, or how far from school you live, every college student has one thing in common: procrastination.
Face it, you’ll be up on the last night before major essays are due scrambling through Wikipedia trying to find some sort of valid source, and you’ll just be wishing you could crash.
The solution? Not preparation, that’s for brown-nosers. Instead, just track down some of your favorite caffeine-enhanced items - Jolt, caffeine sunflower seeds, chocolate covered coffee beans, etc. - and you’ll be good to go for weeks on end.
At the very least you’ll be good to go until the semester is over, at which point you can then slip into a coma for the summer.
Final Thoughts
So there you have it. Everything you might need to enjoy this new semester.
Just remember, you’re at college for one reason: to pay exorbitant amounts of money for a little piece of paper that says you’re qualified to do something.
Questions or comments can be placed below, or you can e-mail me at:
Topics: Guides |
Comments