The Best Geek Quotes

By Jeffrey | September 11, 2007

Pointers
Every now and again it’s nice to read something that makes you laugh, but when others see it makes them question your sanity.

This is one of those lists.

So, without further ado, I bring you the best geek quotes that are attributed to nobody. So go ahead, claim them for yourself. There is no RIAA of humor to stop you…I think…

“If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0″

“Be nice to geeks, you’ll probably end up working for one.”

“It’s a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.”

“The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.”

“One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.”

“Life would be so much easier if it were open-source.”

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”

“Some things Man was never meant to know. That’s why we invented Google.”

“There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”

“The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

“The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.”

“My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.”

“Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.”

“A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?”

“No keyboard detected. Press F9 to continue.”

“Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.”

“User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.”

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11 Responses to “The Best Geek Quotes”

  1. “Be nice to geeks, you’ll probably end up working for one” was said by Bill Gates.

    Posted by: Chris on September 30th, 2007 at 11:03 am

  2. very funny. stumbled here and thumbs up to you my friend

    Posted by: doug m on October 2nd, 2007 at 12:34 pm

  3. “I’m a drinker with programming problems”

    nice list

    Posted by: Sindre on October 2nd, 2007 at 3:10 pm

  4. I liked the image one the most. the answer would drive the person crazy :)

    Posted by: ad on October 3rd, 2007 at 8:08 pm

  5. The image is from XKCD, one of the best comics ever…

    http://www.xkcd.com

    Posted by: Demeno on October 4th, 2007 at 6:35 am

  6. Drink and derive. Oh god, I cringed at that.

    Awesome list though. I said them all first. *shifty eyes*

    Posted by: Jessica on October 5th, 2007 at 5:51 pm

  7. You should really cite the original source…This comic was originally posted here: http://xkcd.com/138/

    Posted by: bonder on October 6th, 2007 at 1:58 am

  8. That image was actually pulled from a Google Images search.

    Thank you for posting the correct link, though.

    Posted by: Jeffrey on October 6th, 2007 at 2:52 am

  9. (typical dumb, pointless Internet comment)

    Posted by: Julio on October 10th, 2007 at 4:43 pm

  10. (Witty, sarcastic, equally pointless internet retort)

    Posted by: Tyler on October 19th, 2007 at 12:54 pm

  11. [...] you can still handle another chuckle or two, have a look at a list of The Best Geek Quotes. Do check out the complete list, but here are a few of my favorites as a teaser: “If at first you [...]

    Posted by: Sandbox » Communication Favorite Links Features Humor Managing Relationships Writing » JB Weekly Digest (07-44) on November 29th, 2007 at 10:43 pm


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